


Missing Sun

by Dude_That_Writes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 09:52:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11644062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dude_That_Writes/pseuds/Dude_That_Writes
Summary: Hinata stops showing up to volleyball practice for 2 weeks.The entire team is thrown of without him there. But Kageyama is deeply affected, because he knows he could have done something.TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mention of self-harm.





	Missing Sun

**Author's Note:**

> this is something that happened to me where i was kageyama so this is a vent fic.
> 
>  
> 
> I'M SO AFRAID TO POST THIS BUT IMMA SUMMON ALL MY COURAGE AND DO IT

Kageyama stepped into the gym. The day seemed just like any other day.

But then he noticed there wasn't another loud voice with Nishinoya's and Tanaka's. Hinata wasn't there. He looked around the gym for the short orange haired boy, but he was nowhere. It wasn't like him to miss practice.

Kageyama tried to ignore his curiosity and began practicing his serve.

****

He just couldn't get it right that day. All his serves weren't going where he aimed, and he couldn't set the ball to anyone.

"Are you OK?" Asahi asked him after Kageyama missed for the 5th time.

"I'm fine." He retorted. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew that it was the burning curiosity throwing of his focus. It was as if something was crawling its way to the surface of his brain.

After the 6th miss, Kageyama sat down to clear his head.

"Kageyama-kun. Is there are reason for why you're so unfocused today?" Said a voice. Kageyama opened his eyes to see Sugawara sitting next to him.

 _He might know._ Kageyama thought. "D-do you know where Hinata is?" The curiosity got the better of him.

Suga went pale for a split-second. "Oh, um. He told me he went on vacation."

"Where?" Kageyama questioned further.

"Uh, I forgot." Suga said. He got up and wiped the sweat off his brow. "All right, when you're ready get back to practice." He said as he jogged off.

With Kageyama's question answered, he went back to practice. Although he improved, there were still many misses.

****

One week had gone by. Kageyama never found out where Hinata went on vacation. While he tried to ignore it, there was a feeling in his gut that he couldn't quite explain.

A feeling that seemed to spread throughout the entire team. It was as if a dark cloud was over them. The gym had a cold atmosphere, even though it was almost 9o degrees without the AC. 

By the 2nd week, everyone became tense. Noya and Tanaka were quieter, while Yachi, Yamaguchi, and Asahi seemed more on edge then usual. No one knew it was possible, but Tsukishima was noticeably saltier. 

Kageyama was pissed. _Why is everyone so tense? Hinata's just on vacation._ He didn't want to admit that they were all feeling what he was feeling. That deep down they knew Hinata wasn't really on vacation.

But his feeling was much deeper. Because he knew something that they didn't

****

**A Month Ago**

Kageyama and Hinata were changing in the club room. They were early so the both of them were alone. 

Kageyama looked at Hinata and noticed he was taking a long time to find his shirt. "You should put your shirt were you can find it dumb-ass."

"I know where it is!" Hinata retorted. He pulled out his shirt and began undressing. He began to undress fast. To fast. He got his arms and head stuck in his shirt. "Ugh!" He cried as he pulled.

"Idiot." Kageyama said. He went up to the smaller boy and helped him out his shirt.

"Thanks." Hinata said.

That's when Kageyama noticed the scars on his arms. Not scars from volleyball. Ones from razors.

Hinata quickly put on his shirt and sped out the club room.

Kageyama's stopped the urge to race Hinata and stood there as his thoughts ran around.

 _Is Hinata cutting himself._ _Maybe it was something else. He must have fallen off his bike, or his sister did something. They were faint, so it must have been a long time ago. His mom must be getting him help. I shouldn't interfere, it might make him mad._ Kageyama shook away his concerns and went to practice.

****

**Present**

Kageyama was opening the club room door when he heard voices inside. He was gonna open them anyway but then he heard a certain word. Hinata. He pressed his ear up against the door.

"The team seems down without Hinata here. I know Hinata told you he was on vacation...but I think we all know something is up." Kageyama recognized the voice as Daichi's.

"Hinata told me not to tell anyway, but I guess I'll have to tell you." Suga said. "Hinata's...in the hospital."

Kageyama covered his mouth before he yelled 'What!'

"The hospital? Why wouldn't he want us to know?" Daichi asked.

"It's not like that. He's in there because of depression I'm guessing. He didn't explain in detail why, but he only told me because he didn't want everyone to worry." Suga said.

Kageyama was slowly slid against the door to the ground.

Regretful thoughts filled his head. _I_ _knew. I could have done something, said something. I just assumed that his family would help him. Maybe if I tried talking with him, or bringing the issue up, or...I could have done something._

Kageyama picked himself up and ran home.

_I'm sorry, Hinata. I didn't anything._

****

The next day, Hinata returned. A ray of sunshine pierced there dark cloud.

"Shoyo!" Noya said when he saw the orange haired boy. "How was your vacation!"

"It was good." Hinata said. He didn't want to explain in detail.

"Where did you-" Noya was cut off when Daichi touched his shoulder.

"Can you get those volleyballs over there?" He asked.

Hinata let out a sigh of relief. But instantly tensed back up when Daichi touched his shoulder.

"I know. Suga told me. He didn't tell anyone else, but me and him will help you." Dachi said."But, you're going to have to tell them one day. We'll understand and help you."

Hinata was relieved beyond words.

That day, practice went mostly back to normal. Hinata had to dodge multiple questions from the team. Except Tsuki didn't seem to care, but almost always happened to be by him when someone mentioned Hinata's vacation.

The only one who didn't talk to him that day was Kageyama. He kept his distance and ignored Hinata.

Hinata was getting mad at Kageyama, he was about to tell him off after practice, but then Kageyama approached him.

"Can we walk home together?" Kageyama stared at the ground as he asked.

"Yeah." Hinata said.

They walked in silence for a long time.

"Can we stop for a second?" Kageyama asked when they walked by a small park with a bench.

"Sure." Hinata said, he tensed up.

They sat down on the bench and looked at the sky. Then Kageyama broke the silence.

"I overheard what happened to you." He said.

Hinata instinctively put up a wall around him. "What do you mean?"

Kageyama shuffled with his hands for a sec, then said, "You were at the hospital. I'm sorry. I wasn't there for you, even though I saw your scars. I ignored it and thought your family would help."

Hinata bit the bottom of his lip. "It's OK. I would probably have done the same thing."

"But it's not OK." Kageyama retorted. "I can't say I'm your friend when I didn't do anything. I just thought you would be fine, because you always seem fine." Kageyama sniffled.

Hinata didn't say anything. They sat there in silence.

"I'll tell you what happened." Hinata finally said. "I was in the bathroom, cutting myself. I didn't know but Natsu had caught a high fever that night. I forgot to lock the door, so when my mom went in for medicine, she found me." Hinata was biting his lip to hold back tears. "She called a ambulance and they took both me and Natsu to the hospital. I stayed there for 2 weeks, and yeah..."

"Why?" Kageyama asked. "Why didn't you me to know?"

"Because I was afraid you would call me stupid." Hinata said as tears silently fell.

"Your stupid for thinking I'd call you stupid." Kageyama said as he began crying silent tears. "I care for you. If you ever need to talk, talk to me. Please. I won't think your problems are dumb."

Hinata let out a sob he was desperately trying to hold back. Kageyama scooted closer and enveloped him in his arms.

"I love you." Kageyama said. He let his tears fall freely now.

Hinata grabbed on to Kageyama's shirt tightly. "I'm sorry. I love you too."

They stayed like that until they stopped crying.

Hinata suddenly realized something. He pushed Kageyama away. "Did you mean love as in, that kind of love?"

Kageyama began to blush. _Did I? Do I?_ He pondered for a moment. Then he came to his conclusion. "Yeah. I did. Did...you?"

Hinata began blushing as well. "Yeah."

They sat there for a moment until Kageyama said they needed to hurry up and get home.

As they began walking side-by-side, Kageyama reached for Hinata's hand and grabbed it. They walked the rest of the way smiling and blushing like idiots.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you guys can learn from Kageyama and me to always approach your friend when something is going on with them. Unlike us, you might not get a second chance with them.  
> This fic didn't have a bunch of inspiring words or some grand plot, because this is based on my life. And in life, not every character is a poet. The only difference was me and my friend didn't fall in love.  
> IDK what else to say, but thank you for reading this. And please be aware of the people around you.


End file.
